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The Power of The Cloud


When compared to Sony’s PlayStation 4, the Xbox One may look like an over priced piece of shit that’s doing more U-turns than a fucking roundabout, but let’s not rule out “Teh cloud”.  More than just a networked back-up, Microsoft’s cloud can actually add to the overall processing power of the new machine.  However, before we  begin to look at any factual benefits of the cloud, let’s take a look at some of the more important, tenuous ones.

When the forces of Andross (think PS4) are threatening Corneria, who is the one person that General Pepper calls to lead them to salvation?  Sackboy? Nope,  none other than Fox McCloud, leader of a band of intergalactic space animals who, despite the odds, come out of top each and every time.  A prophecy that is hard to ignore.


Then take a look at Cloud Strife of Final Fantasy fame. This little “something about Mary” jizz-haired kid is testament to the fact that, sometimes, there is more to life than meets the eye. Although on paper, Cloud might seem like little more than a weird emo kid, he’s become one of the most powerful characters in gaming history. One that can wield an impossibly over-sized sword – undeniable proof that the power of Cloud can be deceptive. Wink-wink, nod-nod.


Now lets move onto some of the actual facts: Xbox’s cloud technology is based on Skynet,  from the popular film ‘The Terminator’.  We’re not just talking cloud computing power here, we’re talking a self-aware network of raw processing power. Microsoft themselves have stated that even they don’t actually know how much power we are talking, but have confirmed that it’s enough to trigger a ‘man against machine’ nuclear holocaust. Now that’s a pretty impressive claim and starts to put the PS4’s GDDR5 into perspective. Never underestimate the power of the cloud!


By @AngryFodder


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