All sources are anonymous.

BREAKING NEWS: PS4 Dual-shock Lightbar CAN’T be Turned off



Riding high on the winds of success, Sony is now plummeting back to reality following the controversial announcement that the lightbar on the PS4 controller can’t be turned off.Speaking via Twitter, Sony Worldwide Studio Chef (possibly Chief) Shuhei Yoshimitsu responded to an outraged fan, who screamed “Can I turn off the lightbar on the DS4 so the battery lasts longer?” with a simple, albeit nonchalant ‘No’.

We’re guessing the outraged fan meant ‘PS4’ not ‘DS4’ but this is the Internet so who knows…

In light of the apocalyptic revelation, PlayStation 4 fans have taken to online message boards in hopes than a Sony employee will somehow read their post and decide to remove the lightbar entirely. xXxSniperguYxXx2K12 describes the traumatic news as ‘abhorrent’, ‘misleading’, stating he will‘sue if they do ths shit!!!’ 

“The battrie life is gunna be balls now,” an angry post starts.

“If I wanted a shit battrie life Id buy a wiiu.”

Elsewhere, GameFAQ user ‘My Little Pwny11T1’ agrees; citing lightbar-gate as ‘inherently evil’.

“What the bro is this shit? Bro, I thought Sony were my bros, bro. Can’t they just brogramme in summut to make it turn off? They’re broficient like that, right bro? Bro, I used to think they were my Han Brolo, not they’re just Broba Fett. F***ing brostards!”

Is this the first step in Sony’s demise? Will lightbar-gate lead to a company-wide bankruptcy? Is there even a point to playing a console that restricts users first-amendments is such a vile, devious, and underhanded way? Be sure to let us know your thoughts in the comments below.


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